Wed in India

Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy.
But let's get married
And have a baby.

Thanks to Facebook, we know how many of our friends, cousins and a dozen acquaintances recently either got married or engaged. It's usually said love is in the air. I say marriages are these days. Oh c'mon it's not the same. In the Indian society, marriages are all about families, horoscopes, pandits and muharats. Sorry shubh muharats. And lastly, the bride and groom. How did I forget the relatives. Oh yes, so many of them. Most of them you don't remember. All of them you don't care about.

Let's start from the very beginning. You finish your education, get a decent job and start searching for a partner. Alright jokes apart, it begins with any of your family member coming up with the idea of your wedding. Each family has two or more match makers. They have a list of eligible bachelors for girls of all ages and vice versa. Literally all ages. The only good thing about them is that they don't take commission. This match making is done for free in return of some information of the younger siblings and cousins. So you know the list can be updated. Sometimes you even get 'ek pe ek free' offer. Families come to see you and make deals with your chachi also for her daughter for the younger son. They even provide with an exchange offer. Oh yes, your son marries our daughter and our son marries yours. This is an exciting deal as you cut the marriage expenses into half. 

But before all this, the horoscopes of the girl and the guy need to match. Next comes the biodatas. I once heard an aunty talk about her daughter's horoscope, "Panditji kehte hai kundli toh mil gayi. Lekin bache kehte hai humare hobbies alag alag hai. Maine bhi keh diya tere baapu ki aur meri kaha same hai. Toh kya shaadi nahi hui!". Yes India is a weird place. And weirder are the first meetings. We have  family dates(totally a thing). The whole family- father,mother, the guy/girl, brother, sister, masa,masi, chacha, chachi, dada, dadi, nana, nani of both the sides meet up over tea and nashta. Apologies if I missed some relative, coz if I did, it is going to turn bad and there would be some broken hearts with taunts for a decade. The boy and girl can talk for half an hour, more or less, or not at all. But why am I off the topic. That is hardly an issue. As far as the samosas you cooked are delicious and the guy brings a big car it all works out.

Surely things have changed over time. Yes the horoscopes still there. Yes you still need to make yummy samosas. No you cannot tell the relatives to mind their own business. But there are chances you get six months of online chit chatting and long calls with your fiance/fiancee to know him/her better. Majority of the families still follow the traditional methods. I even heard a friend say in his tradition the groom is kidnapped and forced into marriedage. Well you read it right the first time no need of reading it again. Kidnapped! God bless your soul. Strangely, all this is not just followed sincerely, it is followed for generations. Irony is the parents who ask you to stay away from strangers want you to spend the next 50years of your life with a stranger. 

Soon there is a typical wedding I'd be attending. Not that I'm not excited to see the rich chacha fuss about the non ac car we send him. Or the creepy cousin who would do everything as I do. Even the old mausaji with gas problem wouldn't be an issues. It's the match makers I fear. No matter what, family should not read this post. 

Jai Hind!